.png)
Why Is It Important To Get Curious?
If you have done any kind of personal development, you will have for sure heard about 'getting curious' about just about everything.
Why?
When I first started this journey, I knew very little about any of it, in fact, if you'd said "limiting beliefs" back then I would have stared at you blankly wondering what the f you just said to me:).
When I think about how so many incredible things come from that one practice of asking questions, it's almost unreal to me how simple everything is when you get to the place of curiosity.
"What does this mean for me?"
"What does that person feel in this moment?"
"What is this teaching me?"
Asking questions in every single negative situation gives you the space and flow to not react rather, it gives you the time to calm down and find your compassion. Sometimes that compassion is for you, in fact, most of the time it's for you.
"Why am I reacting this way towards myself?".
When you sit in the curiosity in any given situation, you get to really start to get under what the core of the 'thing' is. If shit happens and you simply react, you're never going to be happy. It's really that simple.
What Tips Help You Find Out What's Going On?
When I'm in a situation that I find myself truly getting pissed or upset, I have trained and conditioned myself to breath.
Breathing into whatever it is that I'm feeling is key for me.
I feel the feeling of being mad, sad, upset and know it's time to breath.
A couple of deep breaths...I slow down my breathing and start asking.
"What is going on here?"
"Is this a me thing or an out there thing?"
"Why is this triggering me"
Now to be fair, understand that this was NOT my practice until the last year or so. Why? Because this shit takes time...so don't expect to be able to do this immediately and with all situations at first. Patience is key here. You're reprogramming your subconscious to do this after all. It's not an overnight process:).
What Can You Do When You're Stuck In The Question?
So, what happens when you're doing the work and you're stuck?
For me, I will occasionally get 'stuck' in the question.
It's totally fine hun, again, taking some nice deep breaths is super helpful here too.
If that doesn't do it, I will grab a pen and start jotting down what is coming up for me.
Honesty is the best policy of course, so be honest about what IS coming up for you. Write down if you're pissed or sad etc. No one will be reading this, so go nuts!
When that doesn't bring it up fully for me, I reach to someone I trust, normally my 25 year old daughter Sydney
This may seem like an odd choice to some, but she is my confidant and she knows me extremely well. Her and I are together in this life to teach each other and now you.
When I'm stuck, it's a Facetime call for some "real talk".
One of the keys to reaching out to someone is to make sure they are able to separate their own projections from what you need to see in the situation. Sydney happens to do this really well. She's one of my coaches at this point, so when she helps me to see something, I listen and take it in. I trust her completely.
You want to go to a coach or mentor who understands this work, otherwise, you might get a lot of, "Girl, he's an asshole, you're totally right" rather than, "Ok, what meaning are you giving this?" or "How are you participating in this, how can you look at this from his model of the world?".
It's not always easy to approach things this way. Your friends and family don't want to hurt you, but you won't get the advice you need when they are more concerned about your ego than your growth. Find someone who can balance both.
Curiosity has saved me. There's no other way to look at it.
If I didn't have the ability to question my thoughts and actions whenever they cause me suffering, I don't know where I'd be today.
If you're called to question things, know that you're opening up and that is a beautiful thing sister!
I love you,
C
ps. OPEN HOUSE for the Love Soldiers Membership April 18th @11 am ET. You spend a year with me learning "How To Build Your Business Like A Love Soldier"...we get curious about A LOT in this group ;). Here's the ZOOM link.
