Depression And How I Move Through It
Updated: Jan 10
Hot topic alert, this one will ruffle some feathers. Especially the ones whose identity is wrapped in depression.
I don't like feeling like shit, do you?
No, I didn't think so, but yet we sometimes make it our mission to stay in the shit because that is what's comfortable for us. Right? You know you do it too sister...time to come clean!
Now, full disclosure, I am not speaking into clinical depression, although I definitely feel like that is thrown around way too often as a catch all feeling depressed. Most of the time, diet and exercise aren't part of the conversation, but I am referring to the kind of depression that is within more of our control.
How Has It Affected Me?
Over the last two years, I have had major bouts of feeling depressed. Most of the last 2 years of the lockdowns, restrictions, arguments about vaccines have taken a big toll on my normally pretty happy disposition.
I have found myself more snappy.
I have found myself working out less.
I have found myself eating worse.
I have found myself lost.
I'd be lying if I told you that it's not this way anymore from time to time, it truly is. In fact, the reason I am even writing this post at this time is because I am pulling myself out of one of these holes as we speak.
So what's it really about?
Focus, it really does come down to focus.
Where have I been focusing?
If I am being honest, my focus was kind of all over the place.
Somedays super on, other days, not even close.
I was focusing a lot on what I was unable to control and not on how I was responding to it. It's easy to get gripped by that "I have no control" feeling, for realz.
I was sitting and thinking a lot more about what was frightening me and what 'could' happen vs what was real.
I was arguing with reality, (thank you Byron Katie).
And arguing with reality is the shittiest thing you can do because you will literally never win...like ever.
So I had a choice to make.
Even in writing this.
I know some of my clients are feeling shitty and depressed so for me, if I am going to live my purpose, then I have to write this for THEM, not even for me.
"Me" wanted to put the laptop away for the day.
"Me" wanted to nap after I worked on a bunch of stuff for the business.
"Me" wanted to watch a movie and not think for the rest of today...but here's the thing.
You need me and at the end of the day, that is simply enough for me to get my own head out of my own ass and SERVE!
So that's the trick then isn't it?
So, here are a couple of things you can think about when you're in it deep and trust me, I have been there and I will surely get there again someday. We are human after all.
Stop thinking only about yourself. This is probably the number one thing that will keep you depressed. If you are focusing on you and what isn't going right in your life, you will never see your way out.
Stop focusing on what you cannot control and focus on what you can, as in your emotions and your reactions to things. No one is ever going to tell you how to respond to anything, that my friend is on you. You control 100% of your reactions.
Move your body. I don't care if it's a 10 minute walk to start, just move your gorgeous ass.
Gratitude, yes, we have all heard it a million times, but do we actually practice it? Nope, we like to feel sorry for ourselves don't we;)...well that stops now!
Eat well. I will go into this a lot more this year, but the long and short of it is that if you're treating yourself with highly processed foods and lots of booze and junk, your body will have no chance of supporting you through times like this...ask "is this going to make me feel better or worse long term?".
I get it sweetheart, I really do, but this is not going to last forever, I promise.
Reach out to people who can help, practice all the above techniques, but above all else, know there is absolutely nothing wrong with you...you are a fucking goddess...period.
When you lose sight of that fact, it can be scary and unnerving, but your soul knows when you need extra support.
I love you,
This is not meant to diagnose or treat depression, this is merely the means that I have used to pull myself out of times I have needed support. If you feel you need the assistance of a medical professional, please reach out to your Doctor.