I know you've come to be used to my full transparency model of communicating, I think my whole brand is predicated on it..so this isn't going to be any different:).
I have done a lot of things in my time, lots of traveling around North America, lots of business starts and failures...had losses and many wins too.
Things are not meant to linear, that is just not how things go, so why do we fight it?
Why do we think that resisting it will make it go away?
"What we resist, persists" - Tony Robbins.
Resistance was a way of life for me for a really long time and from time to time even now, I find myself doing it.
So Why Do We Resist?
Well, we do it because we are uncomfortable.
When we hit this place of feeling like we want to push back, it's because we are about to do something we do not necessarily 'want' to do, but know we should. So, our monkey brains will kick into high gear and fight for our ego's life so to speak.
Will this happen forever when you try new shit? Yep, that's how we are wired and it's why personal development is a never-ending process, it will continue for life.
So accepting that you ARE going to feel resistance is the key, don't fight it, lean into it. In fact, you might want to thank your ego for this signal, just know that it's only creating the resistance because you are trying to stretch.
How I Am Falling Apart To Go Back Together
The last 48 hours have been rough for me. I'm in Florida staying with a beautiful man I met at UPW, we became fast friends and have built this sweet little friendship...he invited me into his place here to help me figure out my shit.
I have been in a co-dependant and mostly painful relationship with my ex-husband. We love each other a lot, but we are also not good for one another even as friends at this point.
Coming to Florida for a month is my way of creating some distance. Emotionally and physically...so far, it's been hard as fuck.
I am also within 24 hours of leaving for Sedona to host my very first of many, Love Soldiers Goddess Retreats...so this is a BIG ASS stretch for me and to say the last 48 hours have been easy would be a big fat lie.
In fact, I had a panic attack the other morning. Not a big one, those ones I haven't had in 4 years, but it rattled me nonetheless.
Why was I in a panic attack?
Because I am doing something so different, my whole being is kind of freaking out.
Falling apart at the seams.
So, I initially reached out to my bestie for help to bring me back into my body and she was busy, so, my old pattern kicked in and I reached out to the ex.
Was this ideal? Of course not, afterall, wasn't the whole point of this exercise to NOT do that? Yeah, it sure is...except in that moment, I was too caught up and texted anyway.
What Did That Teach Me?
👉🏻Well, it taught me that I still have work to do around this.
👉🏻It taught me that I am still not a superhero even when I want to be
👉🏻It taught me that I should connect to a couple of my soul sisters for times like these.
I came out of yesterday seeing that this IS going to be bumpy- I am doing things I have never done before and that as always, it can scare me, but I still need to do it when my higher self knows it's right, and she does, she really does!
So, Here's My Invitation For You
Do the things that you think might be a stretch for, but know that you will absolutely feel like you are falling apart at the seams and that's ok AF. It's part of the whole thing, it's supposed to feel like shit BEFORE it's going to feel like bliss...I promise!
Lean into it, bathe in it, what's meant for you will appear.
I love you!