I'm Begging You To Love Me...
My real estate journey is about to begin in a real way.
In the last 12 months, I have had a multitude of ‘come to Jesus’ moments.
Many of them have been incredibly painful, all of them incredibly valuable.
A year ago, I was totally focused on creating and growing Love Soldiers, a coaching company that focuses on helping women lean into the feminine so they can more easily balance their masculine energy. It's my life's mission.
Now, here I am, almost the end of the year and things are totally different.
So why did I make this pivot? Why, when I have been obsessed with helping women, have I seemingly abandoned ship?
Short answer, I wasn’t fully operating from the place I needed to be operating from.
Longer answer…I was helping women from a place of scarcity and lack.
Lack of love for myself.
(What the fuck Cara?) Yep.
What I have come to see this last several months is that I am absolutely here to help.
I’m a Generator and that’s what we do.
I am obsessed with seeing the light turn on for my clients, seeing them fully embody the feminine energy within them…it’s what I live for.
I love seeing my client realize they have all they need to make shit happen and to have the kind of relationships they want, to have the kind of businesses they want and deserve, to open up to the life that is their birthright.
So when I say I was operating from lack, here’s what I mean.
For as long as I can remember, I have been chasing.
Chasing my parents, my friends, my boyfriends, and in some weird way, myself.
When I was young, I found that if I just sat there, I would get very little love and attention, so I guess at a young age, I got the message that love was transactional; if I give you X, you will love me.
As a kid, I remember literally never feeling like I never fit in anywhere, that I was different and that meant I wasn’t good enough.
As a teenager, same thing, I wasn’t like the other girls, I had this constant feeling of not being good enough to hang out with people I wanted to hang out with. I would drive them around, or do things for them to get ‘in’ with them. It was always a one way street.
As an adult, same damn thing. People got used to that kind of transaction and gave very little back and I accepted that because I thought it was normal.
Well, it’s not.
It’s not normal to give and give if you’re expecting something back or giving because you think it will make people love you and support you…it’s common, but far from healthy and certainly not normal.
That’s where my coaching and even personal development comes in.
I came to realize something in the last year.
My finances are nowhere near where I want them to be.
I don’t feel secure in any way around that…not even close.
Building a solid business takes a minimum of 2-3 years, longer depending on what kind.
I gave myself 9 month…(again, wtf Cara?)
Why did I do that?
Because I wanted to help women…truly, this was it.
Except that I was not in a position to launch a new company with a 9 month runway.
I did it anyway because my desire to help you was greater than anything else, but why?
Because if I wasn’t helping someone else, I wasn’t good enough.
I have given the oxygen mask to everyone else before I put it on my own face, just like I had been conditioned to do all those years ago.
If I was to launch Love Soldiers and give myself the allotted 2-3 year runway, I needed to have other streams of income…I didn’t though, I was so obsessed with helping ‘her’ that it didn’t matter and that is where the danger lied.
“Take care of those women even if you can’t take care of yourself”…wow, what a damn breakthrough that was.
Once I saw that this was just me chasing, I was fucking rocked, I’m still rocked even as I write this, it feels shameful even, pathetic…but it’s the truth and the truth will set you free.
👉🏻I have always been this way in many different forms.
👉🏻I give time I don’t have to give away.
👉🏻I give money I don’t have to give away.
👉🏻I give energy I don’t have to give away, the list goes on.
All in the name of ‘service’, but at what cost?
Well, at the cost of my mental health, my financial health, and even my physical health in some ways too.
This all kind of reared it's head this past week again for me...with crewing for Tony Robbins. If you know me, you know I love crewing...but this time, it wasn't financially responsible for me to go. I applied, got accepted and then went to work 'making it happen' even though this isn't the right time to attend and it hit me...
I called one of my best friends and listened to her tell me my inner voice was right. Ouch...I want to help the participants, I want to be in the energy of Tony, it's been a year. I want to see my friends, but doing this- at this time, isn't responsible. I have major FOMO already, but I need to feel that too. I need to be ok with this new pattern I am creating. The pattern where I am ok first.
I have come to see that this pattern of taking care of others isn’t pure, it’s more about me feeling like people won’t love or want me if I’m not giving them something first.
I have woken up to the people around me who want absolutely nothing from me and let go of the people who I admittedly chased, but who wanted nothing to do with me…that was a hard pill to swallow.
So, what does this have to do with real estate?
A lot actually.
For the first time in my life I am putting ‘helping’ people on hold.
I am putting Love Soldiers gently on the back burner for a hot minute until I can come back to it from a place of ‘I have more than enough love that I have extra to spare now’, rather than, ‘If I help you, I will be loved’…what a radical difference hey? And this has to come from within me, just like I have been preaching all this time, now I am going to practice what I preach on a whole new level!
Real estate is nothing new for me in terms of passion. I love it, I always have, but until this year, I hadn’t really given it a second thought as a business.
I am a BIG believer in the universe conspiring for me and not against me, so when this started to formulate in my mind, I listened.
I feel like this is something that will help me to hit more of my financial goals and to put that oxygen mask on my own face before helping others put it on theirs and that is something that MUST happen. I can longer allow myself to keep that pattern going…it’s ruining me and I have had enough of it.
So, where are you at? Where are you putting the mask on someone else before yourself?
Is there an area where you can now clearly see that you’re doing things in spite of yourself rather than a place of abundance?
I’m curious to know.
As I wrap this long ass blog post up, I want you to know a couple of things:
I will always create high value content, that’s never going to stop…so keep consuming...I will be peppering real estate content in there too now;).
I am going to continue the She’s The Owner Podcast so keep listening there!
I am going be working in real estate in the new year once the licence has been obtained, anyone who wants to chat about that, please, reach out!
Love Soldiers is still a brand that helps women, we need one another and that is also never going to change…the retreats will be back in the new year so stay tuned for that as well.
I LOVE you all for reading this…you’re my tribe and I couldn’t feel luckier to know that.
Thank you as always.