How am I feeling right now?
Terrified, humbled, elated, and exhausted with a totally FULL heart.
I have been working on the first EVER virtual UPW event since last Monday.
My role was really interesting this time since we weren’t in person, still totally magical.
If you haven’t crewed an event with Tony and you qualify, I highly recommend it.
So what did this event mean for me this time?
A bunch of things, the biggest? Well, my husband Ken made his ‘first appearance’ in our little tribe and it was f*cking magic!
What Did I Expect?
For probably the very first time in my life, I had zero expectations. I know, crazy right? I work really hard on this in my daily practice. Dropping my expectations for appreciation has been one of the most challenging parts of my growth over the years.
He got his ticket and then I applied to crew it.
What Happened During The Event
In the lead up to the event, I was really excited and a bit nervous about how it was going to roll out. I know Tony would ONLY put an event on that HE would consider outstanding and that is exactly how it was, OUTSTANDING.
If you are looking for a way to take your life to the next level, this event takes away most of the barriers you might use to not go:).
So, Ken and I have had many many conversations about the future of our relationship since getting back together this January.
Part of why I felt things were off the rails was because we still hadn’t been able to speak the same language. It was really frustrating for me. I am working at being in a beautiful state at all times and Ken had no idea what that meant in real time.
I want a household that has zero judgements and as few negative comments as possible. He didn’t see that a lot of what he would say, was falling into one of those two categories.
He now does.
We wrapped up the event at around midnight last night, which was the longest Day 4 I have ever been a part of, it was actually hilarious, our crew got super silly and punchy…I told my whole crew team (63 people) that I had tossed my bra and that was that! It was great!
Today I am sleepy and exhausted from all the energy I put out and took back in. This is really normal for me after any Tony event and I love this time afterwards.
Ken, well, he is a totally changed man, he totally fucking UNLEASHED HIS POWER WITHIN and I could not be any more excited for what’s next!
Here Are My Distinctions
I have begged for this to happen for at least 3 years, since my first event with Tony, but I have come to see something about this scares the shit out of me.
I now know that I was totally right about my inner voice. I have ALWAYS said that I need to be with a man who is also a leader. We have only had small chats since we are both back to work and haven’t fully debriefed each other yet, but he has LEADER written all over him.
I knew he was in there…I always knew he had this level…I am so happy I never gave up on him and I don’t mean that in some ego-maniacal way. No matter what the next chapter holds for us, I want him to live his live fully and now I see that he will.
I have been gently or maybe not so gently, forced back into my feminine energy by this mature masculine man and it feels fucking incredible, I feel like I am home again.
I respect him, maybe for the first time ever (fully) in our relationship, which tells me that a strong woman like me really does need a strong man in her life to balance that out. I know I can’t push him around, but lovingly influence him now. That fosters respect in me.
I still have fear. Fear I won’t be enough for HIM now. Fear that HE will leave me for someone who is better for HIM, fear that he won’t like who I am in his newfound voice.
I asked for this from God, the Universe, & Source and they delivered.
I am so proud of him and to be honest, proud of us. We have worked hard at getting here. Really, really, really, hard and so far, it’s worth it. And no matter what happens, we are closer for having this experience together, my love for him as a man has growth deeply.
VirtualUPW certainly helped us both UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN.
Tony, you rock, it’s that simple.