Why Do I Need To Surrender?
This word brings up a lot of shit for a lot of women.
"Why the f*ck should I surrender?".
"I am a survivor, we do not surrender"
"I have nothing to surrender so why bother?"
Look, I get it, it's hard to admit we need to let go, but if we don't, we stay a prisoner for life to the things that have their hooks in us.
Surrendering isn't weakness, its courage.
So why is it important that we let it happen?
Because, when you don't and try to hold on to some grip of control you THINK you have, you cock-block your success.
Energy can't move through us, we can't call in what we say we want when we don't let go and surrender.
My Story Of Surrender (Coles Notes Version)
I have been in business in one form or another for 2 decades
I have had multiple business start ups that flopped.
Event Planning x 1
Organic Gift Baskets x 1
Advertising Agency x 1
Marketing Agency x 1
Concierge Company x 1
Content Writing Company x 1
Coaching Company x 2
Why does this matter?
When I was in those businesses, I was faking it. I was playing a part I didn't want to play. I was doing those businesses because they made sense to me at the time.
I will never ever say that those, any of those, were failures. I learned so much from each of those gifts of business ownership.
What I will say is that I took the long route.
I fought what I knew was inevitable. I didn't surrender.
Many successful people would likely say that I had to go through all of those to come to where I am right now and they'd be right.
Where they would be wrong is that I COULD HAVE done it faster if I had known about coaching or mentorship or leadership or FILL IN THE BLANK.
See, for me it's not that those lessons weren't valuable, obviously they were, but it was my stubbornness and lack of awareness that added probably 10 plus years to that 'education'.
I was taught and conditioned to do it alone, to power through because that is what strong and independent women did. We suffered through it alone and with pride, how fucked is that?
It's totally fucked if you're wondering;).
Earlier this year, I sold my part of a company that I created from a desire to help my then husband. The Content Company was never something I wanted for myself. It was something I wanted for him. He was the talent, he was the writer, but I was the visionary.
So that vision fueled me, for years, until it didn't.
I never gave a shit about content, I gave a shit about Ken and about our family...so I powered through.
Why Did It Take A Breakdown?
In the last part of 2021 I came to a lot of realizations. My marriage had officially ended that October. I was still CEO of TCC, but to be honest, I was struggling big time. I had zero passion for it, which makes sense. My identity was attached to building something for Ken, so no Ken, no reason to keep pushing the business forward.
I decided I needed out. Of all of it.
Love Soldiers was launched as its own brand and She's The Owner was phased out.
In the early part of this year, I had totally revamped all of it. My offers, my programs, my website, my goals. I had some success with group coaching (the year before I had a lot of success), but it still wasn't fitting. I had to go back to the drawing board and really sit with it all....ie surrender.
When I got quiet, when I got still, when I began to listen to my soul, things began to change.
Now, I will be the first to admit that when anyone starts with the foofy woo-woo talk, I used to tune out. I don't now...now I listen and listen hard.
Who Am I Hearing?
When I sat down to plan my year, I knew I was in need to a new mastermind group. I had been without one for too long and it was starting to show. I thrive in that environment and always belong to one or more sometimes.
I joined Manifestation Babe in the spring. I had seen her for a couple years, but never committed to anything.
Then I did.
Then I started to hear it loud and clear, my intuition....I heard it like I had never heard it before.
My soul had finally had enough of the bullshit I was feeding her.
I have known from a really young age what I was meant to do.
I have known for a long time that my purpose is to show women how to release the masculine energy to lean into the feminine energy to really have an incredible life...well, that is the pretty and polished version. At my core, I just want to serve people. Help them. Show them love.
Recently, this message from soul, universe, God, whatever feels comfortable for you, has been so loud and so sturdy that I could no longer ignore her.
I had to surrender.
To say out-loud that I am going to do whatever it takes to keep myself aligned, even when it scares the shit out of me and let me be clear, my dreams do sometimes scare the shit out of me.
As you may know, we have officially launched the first Love Soldiers Unite Conference for June 2023...THAT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME! BUT, here's the thing, NOT doing it scarier to me.
Not showing up for you is scarier.
Not showing up for myself is scarier.
Not showing up for the world is scarier.
So, I have surrendered.
Surrendered to what I know my soul is here for.
Surrendering to all the scary shit that comes up when I think about our business visions and our business goals.
Surrendering to knowing that this is it, finally, this is what I have been training for all this time.
I close my eyes when I get stuck and take a couple of deep breaths and simply ask, "Soul, guide me right now and I will trust you"...and she is always right ladies...always.
So, how are you going to surrender my Sister?
I love you,
ps. Don't forget about the upcoming Love Soldiers Goddess Retreat, talk about surrendering, this is your sign! Click here to sign up. Sept 8-11